a mountain of the dead’s glasses I found

Original version (Turkish):

“buldum ölenlerin gözlüklerinden bir dağ” by Nilay Özer

türlü sıfatlar buldum ruhun yırtılışına
kalın lifli karanlık bir uykuyu yazarken
aşktır kâğıt kesiği gibi birdenbire yakıcı
iyileşmiyor çok derin olan da olmayan da

sanki etimde buldum bulutlardan yolunmuş
kızıl kanatlı ve şuh kuşların davetini
sözcüklerle onların cinneti arasında
kalbim olmamanın zamanına yazılsa

buldum ölenlerin gözlüklerinden bir dağ
görünmez kılıyor tanrının körlüğünü
acının neden sonra rüzgâra döndüğünü
anladım şimdinin nabzı yavaşlayınca

bir yaprak kımıldadı üç serçe ürktü
ben bunu daha önce yaşadım...  

auschwitz 1940-1945

English version:

“a mountain of the dead’s glasses I found” translated by Mehmet Kaan Eğretli

I found various adjectives for the soul tearing
while writing down a dark thick-fibered sleep 
love is like a paper cut abruptly scorching 
neither the very deep nor the shallow heals

as if I found in my flesh plucked from the clouds
the invitation of red-winged and pert birds 
between words and their madness 
if my heart was written in the time of not being

a mountain of the dead’s glasses I found
it renders invisible god’s blindness 
why pain turns into wind long afterwards
I understand when now’s pulse slowed down 

a leaf moved three sparrows startled 
I have lived this before…

auschwitz 1940-1945

This is the English translation of Nilay Özer’s poem titled “buldum ölenlerin gözlüklerinden bir dağ”. It is a complex poem that deals with the horrors of Auschwitz. It mainly revolves around trauma and impossibility of healing. Nilay Özer utilizes an intricate and metaphorical language, her poem requires deep reflection and analysis to truly grasp in a similar way to trauma itself. But even without deep study it achieves to be striking through imagery and strength of voice. The image of “a mountain of dead’s glasses” refers to the remaining personal items gathered in piles of the people who suffered the tragedy of Auschwitz.

Nilay Özer was born in 1976 in Istanbul and studied Biology and Primary School Teaching at Marmara University before completing her MA and PhD in Turkish Literature at Bilkent University. Her academic work focuses on modern Turkish poetry, including studies on Turgut Uyar and Nâzım Hikmet. Since 2008, she has taught Turkish, modern literature, creative writing, and social sciences at various universities, and has led poetry and short story workshops. Özer has published four poetry books, participated in international poetry festivals, and authored several children's books, including bilingual works for UNICEF.