Postponed

Bent low, the crushing mass of life upon my neck,

I sought for any path that rescue could attend.

My desperate thoughts I could not seem to keep in check,

And so began my haunting quest to meet The End.

I willed myself to think of only positives

Against a tide of hopelessness that wore me down.

Shaken, battered, knowing not what prompted it,

Surrendered to its force, believing I would drown.

To drown myself I thought, and bid this world farewell,

The End I could envision, and its consequences.

To shed my burden, then to burden none as well,

As just deserts for all my failings and offenses.

Thinking only ways in which my life could end,

I pondered hanging, overdose, and fall from height,

Drowning, or a self-inflicted gunshot wound,

All methods guaranteed my terrors to excite.

And when I’d scared myself, a coward to such harm,

And shuddered at the strategies I did survey,

‘Though still oppressed by dark, disconsolate alarm

I bade The End to wait until some other day.

[previously published, Fresh Words: Voices Unbound, April 2025]