Mitigating Circumstances

Please state your reasons for applying for an extension 

I stare at a half-eaten Tesco birthday cake doused in alcohol. I don’t even know the last name of the guy whose party it is. Why am I even here? The reason I need this extension is because I cannot really recognise myself in the mirror anymore.  Last night I found myself crying in an empty parking lot. My friend asks if they call them parking lots in England but I don’t know.  21.2% of my university education is over and somehow, I know less now.  Do you still love me?  They don’t tell you which side of the bed you should face to feel less lonely at night. How do I say that the reason I need this extension is because no one has asked me a question about myself in a month. I dye my hair red before I fade away. When the 25-year-old in the smoking area of the club gives me a forehead kiss, for a moment I am back in our family bus on the road to Pangong.  I cannot do this essay on time.  Because no matter how precisely I follow my mother’s daal recipe, absolutely nothing feels like home. Not the books I once used to love, not even my clothes. Sixteen-year-old me wouldn’t have known that freedom comes with an aching for containment. The liberty to take midnight strolls means also having to remember when the milk is going bad. I am applying for this extension because no one taught me the subtle art of saying no. I tell everyone every single thought I ever have. Whore. “You’ve put on weight” yet I haven’t had warm food in my belly in a week. “You can’t have crisps and call it dinner” I take myself grocery shopping sometimes.  Sometimes I listen to Kishore Kumar while I pick out avocados and apples. They’re going to go bad. I am going to forget to eat them. The best part about clubs is that no one can tell you’re crying in the fluorescent disco lights. I am applying for this extension because it is too cold outside. I crack up my radiator to a 5 and try to get down to writing. I really need this extension because I forgot to take out the trash again. I really need this extension because I am tired. I really need this extension because I know I am better than this.