Guess The Time

I’ve lied to every therapist I’ve ever had, mostly

about the small things, like rehearsing my obituary 

in the shower or that I keep a packed bag in my closet

in case I need to run. I’ve kissed someone while crying

over someone else, pretended to be asleep

so I wouldn’t have to hear the truth. I’ve told a priest

I believed in God just so he’d stop looking at me

like I was on fire. I’ve stolen lighters from every man 

who ever broke my heart, even the ones who swore

they didn’t smoke. I’ve eaten cake with both hands

in a hotel bathtub. Said ‘I love you’ knowing it would end

the fight, and then said nothing knowing it would end

everything. I've lied beautifully with my spine straight. 

Darling, I've lied to you before. 

Just guess which time.